3 years ago today.... Eddie and I butt out!
We had arrived at the funeral home quite early to ensure Joy's last wishes were made..... and to ensure we had some flowers in the room and to display the childrens' bulletin board/memory boards that they worked on for the last 2 days with me.... full of their nanny's pictures.
The parlour doors were still locked, so we stepped out of the car and told the children to stay in the car while we were to smoke a cigarrette. We didn't like smoking with them around. It was such a damp and cool morning. With both kids looking at us through the back window, we lit up our cigarrettes and then started looking around where we were. That very second, it was as if the world stopped.
The funeral sign, full of dew.... stood just to the right hand side of us...we looked at each other's coat lapels. There were the breast cancer pins that we had pinned on our jackets for this very day. There Eddie stood with a beautiful pink tie that he purchased the day before just for this occasion, it was so nice against his new black 2 piece suit. Then there was that white smokey thing in his hand. Infront of the chapel. a cross/the crucifix. .... as we inhaled the "cancer stick" - the kids were asking to come out - Whadda ()#*$ ?
I could see a disturbing look in Eddie's eyes. I shook my head and told him, "Does this look stupid to you? Does this make any sense? I don't want to do this anymore." He agreed - he was thinking the same thing. He just couldn't do it today. Not the day he was to burry his mother. He agreed to stop within the next few days, around thanksgiving.
HAPPY SMOKE FREE THANKSGIVING DAY!!! We have lots to be thankful for.